Embracing failures, being the Foster son of success

no success

Most often, everybody look around for success stories to learn, get inspired, decipher the secret formula of success to replicate them in his/her individual life. Many success stories of rich and famous are widely available and as we all expect, most of the stories begin with greatest adversities and finally end in being successful, super successful. Seldom do you come across to a Misguided Alien, someone who is living with his/her failure having totally lost the battle and established himself as the flag-bearer of failure 🙂 . Have you ?

I take privilege to be the most suitable odd man out, and tell you about the greatest failures that I’ve been living with, being in the capacity of one of the most ordinary man, a limited edition of the nature;  my retrospection’s, and what are the takeaways for others !! The big question question is, what is so special about my failures and why anyone need to invest time and analyse?

I’ve read hundreds of inspiring quotes on failure and success from famous people of all walks of life and the crux of all those quotes is to infuse energy  to fight and convert your failures/adversities into success.No one defends or accepts failures gracefully although it is an integral part of life and also the fact that NOT all human being can be successful ALL AT A TIME. Success could be an isolated event like invention of a Bulb by Thomas Elva Edison after 1000 failed attempts AND/OR success in the present age could be about being competitive & ahead of your friends, classmates, relatives, colleagues, society in the rat race of materialistic achievement of scoring best grades, top ranks, big money and better house, better spouse, being high on Ego and Pride !!!! success is a highly relative term !!! While the whole world looks forward to overcome their failures, I live with them perpetually, as failure have become and integral part of my life thanks to either the destiny, sheer stupidity or my orthodox decisions. Whatever it is I put them across to co-relate your failures and be happy that you are still better 🙂 🙂 🙂

  1. I was below par in Academics and always scored just pass marks and even failed in a grade . I was a back bencher, not at all interested in studies, lost in my world, hated and hounded by teachers and classmates. Felt humiliated and lived under inferiority complex throughout my school days.  Retrospection – I was not born to be an academician, perhaps, I could have excelled in some other field. I could have been in the league of extraordinary gentleman like Virat Kohli, Sachin Tendulkar, Bill Gates etc. Who Knows ??  Takeaway – Pursue and lead a life of your capability and material worth. What is my fault if I am was born with deficient Grey matter ??? After all I am too a creation of the divine and isn’t it just a manufacturing defect ?!!!! 
  2. Humble academics and competition made me struggle to get my first descent paying job in an alien field only at the age of 29.  Glorious years of youth lost in dreaming and roaming on streets with CV and also taking up small odd jobs. Retrospection – Individuals  who aimlessly and forcibly studied without inclination to any specific stream/Goal must NOT dream Big especially in other territory. I was a Commerce Graduate who sought a lucrative Software job just by observing the IT Boom, my friends and the job market trend. Though I succeeded in pursuing career in IT but always remained a second citizen to my Engineering / Technically qualified colleagues. Takeaway – Pursue your career in line with your academic qualifications and skillets and most importantly in a desired field. Work as a master as the days of Jacks are over, especially in IT field. Dream within your limits!!  Dare to dream only and only if you have the passion,energy, intelligence and finally hope and belief on yourself, your luck and almighty.  
  3. One of the basic instincts of human is Love, and at a relatively advanced age of 32, I did mysteriously fell in love to an office colleague. The attraction turned out to be one way and I was blatantly yet politely rejected !  It was grossly disappointing, humiliating and eventually I had to quit the organisation overnight and subsequently went into depression for a few months. The person in question had nothing to do with all this and she ignored & moved ahead in life, rightly so. Retrospection –  Your instincts have nothing to do with reality and don’t dream without looking your net worth which include your face, personality  and humble background. Apparently, I had no substance, no personality, no alignment matching the aspirations of the desired person so how on earth could the cupid strike? Takeaway – Love at the right age, right place, right status, right compatibility. There are no rule books for one way traffic in the love Zone, it remains a WRONG ENTRY always and is a punishable offense. 
  4. Like any other obedient and caring child, I brought a house for my old parents at my native place. I brought the property following the law of the land by verifying all records in Revenue Dept. and by availing loan from SBI after fair scrutiny. Five years down the lane, when I repaid the entire SBI home loan, another Bank came and stood at my door claiming that the property belongs to them. Upon  investigation I came to know that I was duped with a Builder Bank Nexus and both of them had hidden the previous mortgage, which, in fact was nowhere recorded. The builder had duped various people in similar fashion and the both Bank’s despite knowing the fraud kept quite and waited till I cleared my housing loan and now the second Bank want to recover their dues from an innocent soul like me and the matter is in court. I fought hard with both banks using RTI, went to Vigilance, Banking Lokpal, RBI etc but these agencies kept a dignified silence in this matter rather than defending an ordinary citizen like me.  Retrospection –  Never trust anyone including the PSU Banks and the Govt. Agencies and most certainly all people engrossed in Real estate business. Corruption is rampant and real estate is not for innocent people. Takeaway – Real estate is not everyone’s cup of cake and if you have bad stars, lead a happy and contented life in a rented house; Never dream of mansions; find happiness and joy just by looking around and admire the lucky children of the God who have build their mansion. Pat your own back and console yourself to realize the fact that no one will carry their dream homes with them when the call for final journey comes. Don’t limit your consciousness to just a bungalow, an Apartment or a piece of land, the whole world is indeed yours 🙂 🙂 
  5. I gave up and finally surrendered like a goat about to be slaughtered and decided to go ahead with whatever available option. Incidentally, she too had completely  surrendered to circumstances of her own, and like me decided to walk in an unknown, unfamiliar wild terrain called as “Arranged marriage”. The expectation was that two distraught soul mate for a better cause and could possibly result in best understanding and a beautiful life full of love.  However, that’s not always that happens in Real time. Comparisons, expectations, insecurity, jealousy all plugged in automatically and drifted the marriage into an altogether different direction. sibling parity added fuel to the fire. My Sis in Law by virtue of her sheer intelligence, ambitions, high qualifications,  modern and positive outlook,  was able to motivate her husband who too an exceptionally brilliant academician, to reach great heights. My wife nor me could match them in any aspect and both of us fell into a inferiority complex just like any other ordinary human being. While, my in laws continued to excel day by day and we plunged into new lows everyday as both me and my wife became abusive, filthy and totally lost trust on each other. The relationship deteriorated further as my wife by virtue of being a sadist and insecure, started abusing my old parents and sisters and finally I lost both my parents. I resorted by a Tit for Tat approach and we both lost all respect and name whatever we had earned till date. Though my parents died of the natural cause yet my wife’s behavior was one of the agonizing contributor leading to their early death.   Retrospection –  A marriage by Surrendering to circumstances seldom work as your old aspirations, expectations, dreams slowly sprout back and play the spoil shot. After all we are human and are driven by emotions, sentiments, hopes , dreams. Takeaway – Never surrender !!! You can however compromise to a limited extent, complete surrender does NOT work. Also there must be one mature partner who should be willing to bend. Check out for the sibling parity and avoid cases where there is a huge gap in the social or educational status of sibling. Though they say beauty lies in the eye of beholder but its a totally stupid, idiotic and impractical statement and most men will agree with me that neighbor or wife’s sister is definitely superior. So be practical and extra judicious while choosing 🙂 provided if you are given a choice 🙂 🙂

By this time you would have crowned me with undisputed king of failure 🙂 . There were many more but I realise that I am writing a Blog and not a book, hence, I decided to omit them.

Just for those who are sympathetic to me :

  • I continue to live despite TWO property (Yes I am trapped in another case as well, this time thanks to incorrect approach by me wife wife we got trapped again)  disputes still in court, millions of Rupees on stake.
  • I continue to seek assignment in IT field despite down and out owing to lack of required skill sets and overconfidence resulting in foolish decision of quitting job without another option in hand.
  • I continue with my volcanic married life for the sake of two beautiful children.
  • I continue to live despite heavy monitory losses.
  • I continue to live despite clinical depression with the Anti Depressants.
  • I attempt to live my life by attempting to do good to others to wipe off my bad Karmas but at the same time, frustrations sometimes misguide me to do evil things as hatred and jealousy has made a permanent place in my mind .
  • I continue to live because there is definitely a guiding force who is holding my hands amidst all these hardships and miseries.
  • Finally, I am trying to learn to live with the fact that one must accept the life as it comes and only when you do that, lies happiness and peace.

 

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